Some time to relax

We all need time to relax and unwind away from the stress of our jobs or even our lives in general. For me listening to music and reading a good book or writing with a good cup of coffee. This helps me to forget my troubles and enter another world for a bit. With my favorite mix of music playing in my ear I can ignore all the noise from the kids arguing about who gets to use the game system next or just their loud playing. When I am reading a good book or writing I can leave my world behind and envelop myself in another life. To me it is like a mini vacation with out all the stress of traveling.

When we get really stressed out from things that happen in our lives we need away to unwind and let the stress melt away. We all have our own way of unwinding and relieving stress. We need it so we do not explode and hurt someone or start a fight with a stranger we are not really upset with. In my humble viewpoint, this is how some incidents of road rage start or even some arguments. People let the stress of the day get to them and have no way to relax or let the stress out so it builds until they hit their limit and can not take anymore. At that point the next person who comes up to them with any issue at all is going to be in trouble and it will not take much. I think every one should find what helps them unwind in a harmless manor. It would make the world a much better place for everyone.
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Hard day at the office

This phrase means different things to different people. To me it means 12 days in a row between the next two weeks. With my degenerative disc disease and how busy it is in my department right now that means lots of stress and aggravation. I love what i do, don't get me wrong.  However, when you have to balance out helping the team members , hiring , training , interviews, orientation, payroll, along with reorganizing the whole area, you get 100 hours of work in a 40 hour week. I try not to take the stress home with me. I also try not to bring the issues at home to the job with me. I just am not sure that i will be able to keep the two separate with 12 days straight to look forward to. It is my fear that my quick temper -that i normally have under strict control - will force its way out so i end up snapping at someone whom has done nothing wrong. I am usually calm and controlled at work out of strict training. I have fought to control my emotions since i was little. I got picked on a lot as a child and my family loved to call me a cry baby every time i shed a tear. As i grew up i started to hate my self for every tear i shed. i would try to hide my tears and pain. No matter what the cost i would not let them see me hurt. So now i have a hard time feeling anything but stress. I am very good at feeling stress. That is one of the reasons why i am worried. I could snap at someone if i am tired and stressed and i will not feel an iota of remorse  for it. I would feel bad later after i got some sleep but in the moment i would not care. That is one thing i must try to avoid due to having built a reputation at work for being able to balance anything that is thrown at me. I will not fail at this. My parents raised me to believe you go to work no matter what. Holidays are just days to get more pay. the death of a family member is just another day and you can not change what has happened. you can morn in your own time work comes first.
My dad is the main tutor of this belief. my mom was the fun one and still is.
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Degenerative Disc Disease

Long name for such a painful disease. I have worked in retail for 16 years and have always had back issues. I never really thought about it too much. The only two things I remember thinking before I discovered I had this issue are, "wow this is going to hurt", when I had to do something like scrubbing registers or lifting something heavy like boxes. Or ,"Ouch, that hurts- where is the pain killers?", after I did one of those things. Never did I think that it was something more serious. I discovered it was an issue four or five years ago. I was watching TV in my bed room and decided to get up for a drink. Half way up out of bed there was a huge cracking noise and I could not move at all. The pain was unbearable and did not stop. My husband had to move me due to my being stuck in that half in- half out of bed state. I was moving slow and it hurt but I was determined to do my job. Two nights later the same thing happened again only this time the pain was really bad and I could not move with out it hurting. I was hunched over and had to lean on things to move. That was when I decided that I had to go to the doctors to have it looked at. At first the tests showed very little and my doctor could not see what was wrong. But I hate being in pain and not knowing what is wrong. So my doctor saw me so much that he finally sent me to a specialist to find out what was going on-and to shut me up I bet. What my neurologist told me was not something I wanted to hear. I had Degenerative Disc Disease from the top of my spine to the bottom. As if that is not enough to upset me I also had a herniated disc in my thoracic and the last disc in my back was no longer pliable it was one solid mass and between the three the last disc was the worst. To kick a person when their down is not a nice thing but far be it for my body to stop there. While they were taking the last MRI and ex rays for my back surgery on the last disc they decided to look at my neck due to me having what I called phantom pains in my shoulders and neck. Wouldn't you know it, I had a herniated disc in my neck now. Then the doctor tells me it is hereditary and that it will get worse if I do not take care of my self. She then decides to tell me some more good news. If I do not loose weight I could end up in a wheelchair.
When I got done feeling sorry for my self I realized I had to make some major changes in my life to prevent what she described as my future. I have since changed my position in my job to lesson the aggravation on my back. Now I have to work on loosing the weight. I know what you are thinking-easier said than done. You are right. However having admitted that I am determined to make it work. I inherited the disease from my dad and I learned from him that no matter how much pain you are in you never give up. To all of you out there whom suffer from this- I understand and feel your pain. To all of you whom do not- be kind to those that do and do not judge them for leaning on the cart, or walking a little slower. Some times a little kindness goes a long way.
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Family are never happy

It seems that no matter what you do your family is never completely happy with you. I am reluctant to ask my family for help not because they do not help me. I am grateful for all that they do and I would be lost without them. I swear that is true. However, while they are helping me or even doing things with out me asking they are very critical of all the little things they see. I know they do not mean it to be that way. I understand it is just them being curious and questioning what they see. That does not make it hurt less though. I love my family with all my heart. For understanding purposes lets make a hypothetical situation. Lets say that they were buying school stuff for the kids to help me out and it was out of the kindness of their hearts. If my kids were not totally excited and grateful for all that they give them my family would find an issue with that. I would be stuck on the phone for hours trying to remind them that they are only kids and borderline teenagers at that. Remember this is only hypothetical and used as an example. When I was their age I was never very excited about the stuff I got for school either. I mean new school clothes and supplies meant that school was back in session very soon and summer vacation was almost over. To  13,11, and 10 year old that is just the end of their freedom for too many months. I was not a fan of school. But I digress, family no matter whose family they are, is never happy. You will constantly fight to explain the details. But where would we be with out them? I for one would be totally lost. I love you guys.
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Children are an Enigma

When I decided to have children I pictured all those movies on TV that showed the children doing their chores, homework, getting good grades, and listening to their parents. They did this all without arguing or putting up any fuss. That is a prime example of false advertising. My children are the very definition of an enigma. When you think you some what understand what they are either doing or thinking they do something that proves you have no idea what they are at all. I love my children unconditionally. I do not understand them at all. One second they are your best friend cause you are giving them their favorite dinner. Then the next second they are mad cause the same thing they were happy about has something they do not like as a side dish or added to the main dish. Their is no compromising or sharing at all unless they decide to. Have you ever noticed how your children are one of the few people in the world that can push you past your point of tolerance and no matter how much they push you can not hurt them. Oh I am not saying that you will not want to after all we are only human. I am saying that you can't. There pain or loss would hurt you even more. To see them hurt or in pain breaks my heart.
Yes children are an enigma. There is no guessing what they are going to do next or what they may say. No matter what you do you will never figure out what they are thinking. Trying to write wile they are fighting or complaining to me about each other is just impossible. If they interrupt a thought I have a hard time bringing my self back to that thought. They do not even think twice about it, however, if you interrupt something they do that is a problem. They keep me on my toes and keep my mind active and ready to solve any problem they throw at me. Perfect practice for my work as human resource. I love my little enigmas.
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Changes in Life

Recently I have had a lot of changes is my life and my job. As I have been adjusting my styles to fit the new circumstances it got me to thinking about how changes can affect everything you do or say. No matter how big or small the changes, the effects are felt everywhere in your life. For example, when my previous boss left for a new job I was forced to adjust everything to doing an entire area on my own.  The changes in my job forced me to work longer hours and to take on additional responcebilitys. The longer hours made my degenerative disc disease enfused back very sore and made me cranky when I got home. My crankiness caused me to have difficulty talking to my husband and kids. Not being able to speak freely and happily with my husband and kids put a strain in my family. Now we have a new boss for my area and I am able to relax a little more. I still have the degenerative disc desease but I can leave when it acts up. Changes can be good like a raise or bad like getting laid off due to the business being shut down but there is always a balance somewhere else. we may not see it but it is there if we look hard enough. I have learned to accept change with open arms and a willing heart no matter what the circumstance. The size of the change does not matter to me. I know that no matter what there will be some good if I just look for it. I just have to look hard enough for it to show.
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Old Friends

When you speak to old friends you have not seen in a long time you either realize they are one of your best friends or that they really did not know you. I discovered that i have a really good friend. She lives in another country and the only conversations we have are through face book but we are still good friends. I have a lot of acquaintances but few really good friends. But she is one of two that I have from High School. No one in the world knows you as well as an old friend does. No one can make you feel needed and understood like an old friend. New friends are nice and can feel comfortable but an old friend can tell you that you have not changed. They can tell you with conviction about the past in your life or how your repeating an old mistake.
I know friends in all sizes can be nice but an old friend can make you feel like your with family. Where would we be with out our friends to commiserate with and to laugh and joke with? I for one would be lost. Our friends are our support system and our sanity in some ways. When our kids or our husbands drive us past the point of no return our friends talk us down and make us laugh. My friends keep me sane and keep me from running away from the depressing times in my life. I miss my old friend. Thanks to modern technology I can talk to her and we can support each other through the changes in our life even though we live thousands of miles away from each other.
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Favorite books

I was asked on twitter what my favorite book was. My Problem is I really do not have a favorite book. Maybe I just have not found it yet. However one of my favorite series is the womens murder club series by James Patterson. I love how a group of women from different aspects of crime detection, prevention, and reporting to solve crimes of passion. It is not always easy or happy for these ladies but they stick together no matter the loss of one of their own or if someone new enters their group.

Now i am not saying that I do not have a favoite genre or that I only read that genre. I read many books of all different types. A particular book my not be in my favorite genre but I may end up liking it anyway. The reason I read is for the simple enjoyment of the story and characters. I can get so engrossed in a story that i loose track of time and end up reading the day away. My favorite genre is fantasy/ mystery.

For example a book about a world where the humans turn in to dragons and are having a hard time adjusting to it. Then amongst the already occuring action a muder and kidnapping plot occurs. Yes this is a book that is already out there that I have read. I do not remember the title or auther but that is what the basics of the plot line was. It was one of my favoites to read. I have a wide variety of interests when I read due to it being my chance to explore other possibilitys.

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Die For You by Lisa Unger

At first I was a little confused with this book.

I got lost in its confusing jumps from one persons view to another.

The beginning is good with character Isabel Raine

having a good morning with her husband Marcus.

Then he leaves for work and still

I was enjoying it. but when the adventure starts to

happen it gets a little confusing with the different points of view all in selfnarrative.

As your reading you have to try to figure out who's mind your in at the moment. It is not always immediately clear as to who's thoughts you are reading at the moment. In whole this is a good interesting book.

I found my self getting upset as Isabel would not just give up and enjoy what was around her but i suppose we all want answers and when betrayed can not give up until we find out why it happened and if they cared at all. It ends on a slightly positive note that i liked.

Once you get past all the twists and turns you will enjoy this book.

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The beggining

I have been reading for many years. Since way before my memory starts my mother says. My interest begins with my mom and her creative way of getting me to read. The way my mother tells the story it was my teacher who called her and mentioned how concerned she was that i had no interest in reading at all. Well my mother read consistently and she decided to try something different with me. She had me pick out a book from the library and we brought it home. I started reading the first sentence out of a kids book. She then would read the next sentence out of her romance novel. Yes that is right a romance novel. So it sounded something like this: "The boy picked up the ball and threw it to Timmy. Mary ran her hands threw his dark hair"
Now to a young kid that is outrageously funny. Sense then I read constantly. I read the biggest Harry Potter book in one day. Did i mention that I am a very fast and competent reader? My family just can not believe it but I love books. Getting out of your life for a short time to enter a world that fills your imagination with ideas and thoughts that other wise you might never have had. To read a book about a fictitious place with a lot of different characters and unexpected action is my idea of a fun filled night. If you add a cup of coffee to that I will be happy for hours. Coffee , books , and Eagles are my interests. My writing is my secret passion.
The first time I saw a Eagle I was envious of their freedom and majestic look. I collect statues, clocks, musical globes, and a variety of other things that have the Bald Eagle on it. I am at peace when i hold my statues or working on my writing. As you can see my interests are simple but they mean a lot to me. With GOD at my side I can do anything.
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