"you have a choice to make now. You have degenerative disc disease , two herniated discs, and have had surgery on the last disc in your back. The surgery should have taken some of the stress off your pain. However you are in worse pain and have gained 50Lbs in a couple years. If you keep up this way you are not going to be able to move and will be in a wheel chair. You need to change something. You have lost a lot of your muscle due to non use and it is making things worse. You need to make a change."
I just shook my head and walked away.. well hobbled away. I was in so much pain that I was taking serious pain pills. I was taking hydro codone 750-500 and flexeril 10 milligrams. I was taking 1 pill 3 times a day as needed for pain and muscle spasms. I hit rock bottom. There was no where else to go. I had no where else to fall. I did not go anywhere or do anything without complaining. I could not turn in bed with out hurting or waking up. The pain was unbearable and i cried myself to sleep most nights. I looked at my husband whom was walking daily and he was feeling so much better then he had. I looked at my friend Dotty and saw how she felt better due to walking. I could not even look at myself in the mirror. Looking myself in the eyes was impossible. I hated what i had become and what i looked like. I felt lower then dirt. Finally one day i decided to made a change. Just one small change to start. It took me 1.5 hours to walk 1mile and it hurt really bad. But i did it. On August 29th, 2012 i started my life change. You see i realized that is the only thing that would work. It had to be flexible, non limiting, and fulfilling. It took me hitting my rock bottom for me to do it. As of today i have lost 47 pounds and 41 inches over all my body. I can now walk anywhere and not hurt. I feel it when the weather changes. Or if i do something stupid like lift too much. But i like working out so much that i have joined a fitness club and do the elliptical stepper and some weight lifting machines.
It was not easy at all. It was a hard long road to get this far. You see i kept on listening to what other people thought of me or of what i did. That was so wrong. Only one persons thoughts matter...One Thought. I was also hearing all these voices repeating in my head. Echos of other peoples thoughts resounding through my head. Also so wrong. Only one voice mattered...One Voice. I was so busy listening to what other people were saying that i did not hear the one thought or voice that mattered. MINE! I thought it over and made that my focus phrase to keep me on my toes. Keep me focused. ONE THOUGHT, ONE VOICE, MINE! I refuse to hit that point again. I keep these thoughts in my head. It is still very hard to do what i need to. I fight my mind to get myself to the gym. If anyone tells you loosing weight is easy then they seriously have not tried. No matter what diet plan or diet pills may say when they advertise i am telling you that it takes hard work and exercise. It takes dedication and focus and determination. If you loose it too quickly then you just put it back on just as easily. I know this is not what we all want to hear however i am living proof that it is worth it and can change your life. I would exercise and repeat my focus phrase. If i got off focus or tempted or upset i would repeat my focus phrase. If I can do it, anyone can.
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